Trojan Party

This morning, dad called me from the parking lot of Panera. He was going in to get some breakfast and then driving to Macy's to wait for the store to open. Why? Because he needs to get some "light-colored slacks", that's why. The weather is warming up, people. This is perplexing because his standard mode of dress for the past 100 years has always been the same:
1) baggy Levi's jeans (much baggier since the 15 pound weight loss due to the stress of our mom's death)
2) short sleeved button down fish shirt (he has a least 50)
3) white Reeboks

Over the past few months, however, our dad has been showing up to different family functions in clothing that we have not seen before. A maroon zip-up sweater here, a mock turtle-neck there... even a pair of flashy navy-blue New Balance sneakers. When we ask where he purchased these things, it's always either Macy's or the Sheep-Fold thrift store. Again, it breaks my heart to think of my dad shopping, alone, for clothing. And it scares me to think that he is going in to Macy's to buy some light-colored slacks with no assistance from any reasonable female.

What is the reason for this sudden need for light-colored slacks? The answer is that there is a USC reunion party coming up and he is taking JOANNE (a proud USC graduate) as his date. The party is hosted by one of my mom's best friends and her husband (also USC graduates). Ellen always throws quite an extravagant party, and it seems to me that this event is going to be the "coming out" of my Dad and JOANNE as a "couple". Several of the other ladies that he has had his eye on will be attending so I only wish I could be a fly on the wall. But then again, that's really the last thing I want to see.

We talk about the party for a bit and I ask him if he's nervous. He says he is a little nervous because they will be picking up another couple on the way that he has never met. Then I ask him if he ever holds hands with JOANNE. He says:

"Well, Yes!" his voice sounds a little excited.
"Really?"
"Yes, kind of a lot. She's like that."
"OK, well good for you." I mean, what else can I say?
"I like her a lot. She wants to do things, like go to movies and plays and things like that. And I want to do things."

I decide that I will wait for the next conversation to ask him about the KISSING. I know if I ask him he will get all embarrassed, but he'll tell.